Miserable At Best
by The Shadows of Once Was
Summary: When Ziva goes away for a mission, Tony is miserable at best.


Miserable at Best

Still don't own. Not even the series on DVD. Yet.....

Enjoy

It had been a week since Ziva had gone back to Tel Aviv for a mission on behalf of her so called father. The team had been replaced with a temporary agent. But not even Gibbs knew if and when Ziva was to return. The mission was dangerous. They all knew that. It was the Mossad after all. They were know for dangerous missions and non returnable people. That's what they were trained for.

Tony was taking it the hardest out of everyone. That included Abby. Before Ziva had left, she had stopped by his house. It was late since her flight was in the wee hours of the morning. He was forever haunted by the look of sadness in her eyes. She knew she was going to die. But there was something she wanted to tell him. So, he let her in and never forgot what happened next.

_"Tony," she breathed. She was trained not to cry. It was a sign of weakness. But Tony was the man who taught her to feel. To know what emotions were like. Which is why, this was harder than any mission she had ever done. _

_ "Why aren't you sleeping, Zi?" he asked, trying to divert the situation. _

_ "I couldn't. Not without telling you..."  
Tony looked over at her, seeing her hesitate. "Go ahead. I can take it." _

_ Ziva came over to him and cupped his cheek in her hand. Her brown eyes studied him intently. It was as if she was memorizing all his features. Then she kissed him, slightly. It was as if a feather had passed between them. "I'll miss you the most, Tony." _

_ "Ziva," he murmured. _

_ "Good bye, Tony," she sighed. _

_ Before she could leave, he grabbed her. His lips crushed against hers. "It's see you later, Ziva." _

Since Ziva had left, Tony picked up drinking again. Almost every night, he drank away his pain. McGee became Tony's life line. He would pick him at the bar and get him in shape so he could go to work. He would throw away the bottles and messes Tony would leave around his now disastrous looking apartment. He'd slap Tony to get him to focus at work. But nothing could heal Tony's broken heart. Each day was worse than the last. There had been no word from Ziva since she left.

Gibbs watched his senior field agent wither away day after day. It reminded him of the days after his own tragedy. He couldn't imagine what it must of felt for his wife and daughter all the times he went away. But if it was like anything Tony was doing, he couldn't take it. Screw Rule 12! He needed his team back together. He needed Ziva back.

Storming into the Director's office, he glared at Jenny. "I want my agent back."

"Jethro, you know that..."

"I don't care, Jenny. Bring her back. My team isn't complete without her," he interrupted.

Jenny sighed. "Is this about Agent DiNozzio?"  
Gibbs remained quiet.

"I'll see what I can do." Jenny turned and headed to her phone.

"DiNozzio!" Gibbs hollered.

Tony popped his head up and wiped away the tears from his eyes. "Yea, boss?"

"Go home," sighed Gibbs.

"But, Boss...."  
Gibbs glared at him. "That's an order. Take the week off."  
Without saying another word, Tony nodded and gathered his stuff. He shot a look at McGee before walking to the elevator. Not that he would like to admit it, but McGee had really come through for him. He was like a true friend to him. Something he really needed at this point in his life. Before heading home, Tony stopped at the store and bought a few things of alcohol. That would surely get him through the night.

McGee stopped over that night after work. He was not surprised that Tony was already drunk with five bottles of hard liquor around him. Sighing, he began cleaning up and making Tony some dinner. Tony looked over at him and sighed. There were muddled thoughts in his head that he couldn't really get out. But he would try.

"Mc....Tim. Why are you here?" he slurred.

Surprised to hear his name come from Tony, McGee turned to face him. "You're my friend, Tony."

"How? I'm horrible to you. Maybe that's why she took the mission," sighed Tony.

"Ziva didn't leave because of you. It was something she had to do, Tony. Beside, we all know you don't really mean half the things you say," explained McGee.

Tony smiled slightly. "I miss her."

"I know. She'll come back," assured McGee.

"How do you know that?" frowned Tony, grabbing some food that McGee handed him.

McGee sat down and did his best. From what he knew about Ziva, she was a survivor. A woman not to be messed with. "I just know."  
"I love her, Tim," confessed Tony.

A few days later Tony was siting in his apartment, sober. McGee had taken all his alcohol from him before cleaning up the mess he had made. He had made Tony shower and eat before going over to Abby's. So now Tony was watching old time movies, trying not to sink into his own thoughts. Then came a knock at his door. Groaning, he got up to answer it.

"Back already, Tim?" he smiled.

But it wasn't Tim. "Hey, Tony."

Tony's eyes popped out of his head. "Ziva?"

Ziva smiled at him. It had been months since she had seen this man. Months spent dreaming about being with him. Laying with him, kissing him, teasing him. She had been filled in on his activities while she was gone. It had broke her heart to hear about it. "Yes, Tony."

"You're back!" Tony looked her over to make sure she was all in one piece. Once he was sure she was, he grabbed her and crushed her in a hug.

"I told you I would," smiled Ziva. She was glad to be in his arms.

"I missed the lips that made me fly," he murmured, before he kissed her.

Their kissing became more heated as Tony pulled her into his apartment. He was suddenly very glad that McGee wanted him sober. Soon, his hands had removed all of Ziva's clothes. He had wanted nothing more than to see her naked. To see if she was really ok. Before he could look her over, Ziva had stripped him of his clothes. She smirked at him as she placed a kiss on his lips and led him to his bedroom. Dropping on his bed, Ziva looked him over. He was lean and muscular.

Tony's green eyes seared over her body, taking in the scars that littered her body. He wanted to kiss away the hurt those scars came from. She was perfect in his eyes. Toned, tanned and lithe. A perfect ninja chick. He quickly covered her with his body and kissed her. His lips began to kiss all the scars he could find. Some were fresh. Probably from the mission she was on. Oh, how he hated to see them on her angelic body.

"It's ok, Tony," she reassured.

"I will never let anyone hurt you," he promised, sealing the promise with a kiss.

They continued to explore each other's bodies in great interest. Their hands couldn't stand to not touch each other. Tony's large strong hands roamed her body, touching all the right spots that made her moan out loud. That was the most amazing sound in the world. He would do anything to just hear her make that sound.

Ziva grabbed him closer to her when he moved to far away from him. She didn't want him to be far from her. Her lips kissed butterfly kisses all over his strong shoulders before she felt him tease her opening. Her hips bucked against him, telling him to do it now. No more waiting for them. Tony pushed into her, loving the sound Ziva made. They got to a even pace and motion of pushing and rocking.

Tony pulled her closer as he began to pounding into her. Ziva clung to him as pleasure began to build up inside of her. She let out small screams of pleasure. A sound that made Tony show her more. To give her everything he had before he felt her inner muscles clench around him. Soon, Ziva screamed out his name as she felt her release coming. Tony followed behind her shortly. He pumped in and out of her one last time.

They just laid there together before Tony moved and cradled her against him. He kissed her, glad that she was back. She would never leave his arms again if he had anything to say about it.

"I love you, Ziva," he admitted

"I love you too, Tony," smiled Ziva.

"Without you, I'm miserable at best," sighed Tony, nuzzling into her.


End file.
